Thoughts and Encouragements for Wounded Helpers Joined to a Healing God

( Nederlandse versie)

2015-06-14

Being happy. Being considered fortunate by others. Having a significant other who likes to see you happy. Are those not things that everyone longs for?
But what do we need to get there? When I look at public opinion, or to my own heart, then I see a number of aspects that we often associate with success and happiness.
Jesus had a lot to say about it as well. Among others in a speech He once held on a mountain, in the first place for His disciples. His speech - also called ‘the Beatitudes’, is recorded in Matthew 5: 1-12. He spoke about what we would call the norms and values of His heavenly Kingdom. What He said is often at odds with the ideas that we get passed on to us from this world.

Below I will first give the secular version – the vision of ‘happiness’ of what the Bible calls our ‘old nature’. In this, I was inspired by Gordon Dalbey, in an old article on the Beatitudes.¹ Precisely by first reflecting on how we are constantly tempted to define our happiness, the contrast Jesus’ words is all the stronger, and we see more clearly the change of heart to which His words invite us.

1.	Happy are those who have all the answers, because they will be proud and confident and have everything well in hand

In the modern world everything revolves around that you have everything under control, and that you have it all well in your own hands. Having influence and a big mouth are more important than human value, intrinsic abilities or sensitivity to others. In our schools, in the quizzes on TV, yes, even too often in the catechism or Bible study group at church, everywhere it is demanded that you have your answers to any question ready. When you apply for a job, it is expected that you already know a lot about it.
In Jesus’ days here on earth, it was the Pharisees and Sadducees who very smugly insisted on knowing everything very well by head. The outside counted. Prostitutes and tax officers (people who collaborated with the Roman rulers) were thus rejected beforehand.

How different was Jesus in His dealings and in His teachings. He knew Himself entirely dependent on the heavenly Father. “I can do nothing without Him”, He said (John 5: 19-20 cf. 1 Peter 5: 6). He told us to follow the example of dependence, simplicity and inquisitiveness of children. Children do not know everything, and are aware of that. Therefore they ask a lot, and they are open to new insights. He also said that there were prostitutes and tax people who would precede those heavy religious leaders into His Kingdom. Precisely because they knew they could not expect it from their own goodness or knowledge or agile answers, but from the grace of God!
Therefore He said:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.

In this world the success counts and they are loved who come with a good and enthusiastic story. Pain and misery we must avoid at all costs – or so we think all too often. Often there is the temptation to think that we can get forget misery and bad experiences from our past or our environment by simply not thinking about it anymore. We then have difficulty with the widow who, after a few years, still can be intensely sad now and then about the loss of her husband, or a mature guy who regularly still feels the pain of rejection by his mother or the beatings by his father. All too easily it is then said: “Well, you are now still not over that? You must learn to forgive and forget once and for all!” The result is that we often rather hide our own pain and shortcomings then as well. “How are you doing?” „Oh, fine, all’s well!”

With Jesus it all was different. He took grief seriously. For Him sin with all its terrible consequences was a cause for intense grief (Luke 19: 41-42; cf. Psalm 119: 136). He wept with Mary in her pain about her deceased brother Lazarus – even despite the fact that in His perspective there was no reason to cry, given that he would raise Lazarus from the dead! He saw her grief and wept with Mary! He wept, prayed and sweated blood in Gethsemane, during His anxious journey to Calvary. But the resurrection followed after the suffering of the cross. In a similar way deep joy often follows going through the valley – those times when we hardly have a view, other than the Word of Jesus that He will be there! Thus, if we close ourselves to experiences of pain, we will also not experience real joy anymore. If we can no longer cry, we thereby also shut ourselves off for repentance and battle against sin and brokenness.² But not only that: if we can not grieve, we also close ourselves off for hymn and dance.

Pain reminds us of sin and brokenness in this life (cf. also Romans 8: 18-27) and of our smallness – that we are vulnerable. In the grief over brokenness we can come to humble ourselves, take responsibility for our own contribution to the brokenness or for recovery, actively seeking restoration of God. Just when we weep we are vulnerable – but also very accessible for the saving and cleansing power of God! Weeping is an act of faith, said Dalbey, for in our weeping we let go of our own defenses and rely solely on the grace of God. And He is susceptible to it and will hear us and do something about it!
That is why Jesus said:

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

“If you yourself do not believe in yourself, others will definitely not!” I once heard in a management seminar. You have to stand up for yourself. You have to be able to ‘sell’ yourself well, otherwise you are not going to ‘make’ in this world. Muscle-language, big words – those let you achieve what you want! You receive after the size of your words. That is the ‘language’ of this world.
We also believe that if we ‘did our best well’, we actually ‘earn’ it that God treats us well. The temptation is there to be only too happy to believe in our own goodness and prefer to cover up the deceitfulness of our own hearts.

One might wonder: if we are so good and could earn God’s grace with our big words, why did Jesus have to come to this world and go that terrible path of agony?
It is clear, that with Jesus it is very different, here as well. With Him not the first, not the confident wins. Not the hard macho or the tough manager with his tough language. With Him the one who remains modest ‘wins’, knowing how much he or she needs the grace of God. Who marvels that God still loves him (or her) so much yet, despite everything he (she) has done. Blessings are not what we deserve, but proof of God’s goodness. And in His goodness, He wants to bless us so abundantly (cf. Eph. 3: 20)!
That is why Jesus could say:

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Until the beginning of the 70s of the last century there was in Western society always something to warm up for: to complete an industrial revolution, to overcome a depression, to win a war, to realize a reconstruction, to propagate new values of peace, flower power and a new spirituality. Since the failure of basically all the big ideologies – capitalism, socialism, communism, humanism, rationalism, positivism, and whatever -isms there all are – it seems that finally nihilism has struck. In the practice of contemporary society we no longer become enthousiastic so easily for anything – at most we strive for something that concerns our own wallets or our own wellbeing. Something happens on the street – a violent robbery or so – and no one even looks. We solely look for our own security and our own gain. We have numbed our feeling and filled our stomach (spiritually speaking also) with all kinds of sweets and for anything else we barely care. Or on the inside we are sensitive, but outwardly we dare to do nothing with it.

How different with Jesus. He descended from His heavenly glory to the mess in this world – because He loved us so much. He took our sin upon Himself and gave His life – to let us inherit His righteousness. It is His desire that we should go in His footsteps – be involved in our own lives and the situation around us, to see more justice to come to fruition there by His presence. He could therefore confirm those who longingly look forward to that righteousness, and to God’s presence, by saying:

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bud Spencer, Bruce Lee, John Wayne, Chuck Norris – some names of men who are or were seen as examples of what true manhood is all about. Whether it is the rough macho in his tough roaring pickup on big wheels, or on his big black motorcycle, or the distinguished manager in his tight black anthracite-gray suit and his smooth and fast business limousine, the ideal man is insensitive. His (almost) black dress and ditto car indicate that he has no personal color anymore – that vulnerability he can no longer afford. Hard as steel he hurtles the road, neglecting his life (and that of many others), or he fires his thousands of employees in the interests of the shareholder – and not to forget: his own image and wallet. Even women – for centuries mostly with more heart and emotion involved with family and fellow man – now align themselves with this norm of distance, to come ‘higher up’ as well.
Words like compassion are in danger of disappearing from the dictionary – they are rarely used in everyday life anyway. As a society, we lose touch with our vulnerability and smallness – and our sinfulness. We can take care of ourselves and do not need another – certainly no help ‘from above’. We therefore also care little anymore for the person who needs our help – the ones for whom we could provide a decent life with a few percent of our income. Also on a personal level there is the temptation to join in with this.

Amid all that megalomania, Jesus says that we all need Him and His grace. But also: how much we can do for that other person – just think of the parable of the Good Samaritan. If we know how Jesus stood up for us – and even gave His life for us –, then we also see the fellow human being who needs us. Jesus puts us on the spot where we belong, when he says:

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

“The results count!” The words still echo in my memory. Under this motto, everything is permitted if only it contributes to the goal. Target oriented we work to achieve what we want. A small compromise here, a little lie there, what is the problem? Oh, sure, you should of course ensure that no harm can be said; and so you make sure that all traces of iniquity be carefully wiped away, on the surface... To the outside world, you are spotless – and nobody knows how a dirty mess it sometimes is in your mind, how you manipulate your friends (they will not do talk, because you made sure they were ‘in’ it with you), or what pictures you look at in secret, or perhaps make yourself...

That in such a way, you will not get to see God’s face, is clear, hopefully; would it be the case, you would burn on the spot. To see God, to come into contact with Him, it is necessary that it is clean in those secret places in our lives as well.
That is why Jesus came – knowing that we could not obtain that by ourselves, He paved a way to cleanse us, not from the outside by rules and commandments but from within, by Him in us. Starting with our hearts, because the rest will follow from that. It is important that we let our hearts be cleaned by the blood of Christ, in order to have contact with God that way. Or, in Jesus’ words:

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Above, I already mentioned several male movie stars who often overcome with great force in their movies and so know to enforce respect. But closer to home: who is pulling the longest straw in political discussion, in participation, or even in elementary school? Aren’t it often the militant, those who hit it hard if something is not of their liking? All around me I see there are people who put others under pressure by their militancy, or who try to win by sowing discord. ‘Yes,’ someone once told me when I asked about this, ‘if you go sit in a corner, you cannot achieve anything in this world; you have to let others know that you are dangerous, if you want to achieve something and be respected.’ And in the micro world as well as in the world at large, it is always the fault of ‘the other’, because ‘he started it’...
Often it strikes me how little is really accomplished that way. Marriages where partners are pitted against each other instead of side by side – and they lose everything. Companies where people are played off against each other and it ruins the atmosphere and the entire company gets broken. Schools and universities where you do not finish if you do not affiliate yourself with some group who behaves militant in one way or another. And people suffer... Suffer from the isolation, the alienation, the war and turmoil around them... and in their own hearts!

So much more can be achieved where people lift each other up instead of tearing down...
Jesus came to restore peace (shalom) – in the first place peace between us and God, but also peace as a state of rest and harmony in our hearts and in the relationships between people. Therein He looked like His heavenly Father, exactly. He, too, seeks to restore peace, to unite people in His community. Jesus invites us to follow Him in it; to pass on His shalom, when He says:

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

So far we dealt with things where we could reap at least some respect by adhering to God’s directives. It was perhaps often not the option of which we thought the first time, or what the world around recommended to us our first, but still...
At this point it is becoming more critical. Here it is about those situations where we might lose friends, lose respect from colleagues or neighbors, if we choose too clearly for God and the things of His Kingdom, such as justice and righteousness. And who would like to be excommunicated, or bullied, because he or she holds a minority position?
All too easily we let us be tempted to choose the broad road. “You should not make it too difficult for yourself”, I once heard someone say in this regard. It starts already at school: no one wants to be labeled a ‘nerd’ or ‘fanatic’. You better adjust a bit to the gray mediocrity. And we condone our behavior, ‘no one expects of me that I...’, or: ‘I do my best so well, I neatly give my tithe, I do not steal, I killed no one’...

Jesus puts us a choice: do we want to keep the world as a friend or truly serve God and His Kingdom – even when it comes to the crunch? After all: What do we achieve if we gain the whole world, but have nothing and no one when we die or thereafter? That is why Jesus said:

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.

This issue is closely related to the previous one. Where there it was still about ‘righteousness’ – a concept that can still count on some respect even in this world – here it is directly about us following Jesus and the price we sometimes have to pay for it. Again, the advice is commonly: A little water to the wine, not speak out yourself too clearly, not talk to that colleague about his or her vain use of the Name of Jesus, our Savior and King. In that way you avoid being ridiculed, or ending up alone. Or that people resent you and start to gossip about you.

But how was Jesus Himself treated when He lived on this world? Religious leaders were trying to catch Him in a trap, and finally with lies they had him be condemned to the most horrible death. Even His most intimate friends did not understand Him, and left Him alone in his most anxious moment. Why did He still continue on that narrow road? ‘He looked upon the joy that was set before Him’, says the author of the letter to the Hebrews (Hebrews 12: 2). In heaven awaits a great reward and a wonderful life with Him, if we take Him seriously here as well, regardless of the consequences.
Even most of the prophets in the Old Testament got involved in prosecution for the fact that people did not like what they had to say on behalf of God. What do we expect then, if we follow in their footsteps? Therefore, Jesus urged us to follow Him, whatever it may -temporarily- costs us here. He directs our gaze, as it were, away from or past the circumstances, the prosecution and the lies with which we are slandered. And He helps us to look on ‘the joy that is set before us’, where He says:

Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Epilogue

You might ask: Why is this article here on a site about pastoral ministry?
The answer is actually quite simple: Because pastoral ministry involves guiding people to learn to live healthily. This article presents something of what Jesus understood and understands by ‘healthy living’. Sometimes that lies in the same line as what a good psychologist or other counselor sees as such. Sometimes, however, it is also at odds with what the culture of this world offers us. Fortunately, we may know that Jesus draws the longest straw – also where He praises people ‘happy’ or ‘blessed’ who, to our natural sense, often are not. Very often I can, based on these ‘Beatitudes’, encourage people in their brokenness and their search for justice and righteousness (see e.g. Issue 4), or the fact that they do not know it all anymore (Issue 1). Jesus just seems to encourage the ‘losers’ here. Just when we have come at the end of our own possibilities, we are open to seek Him and to be filled by Him – and He loves nothing more than to fill us! Everyone counts for Him! By Him, we must let our lives be renewed. Now, that really is LIFE!

Footnotes:

More information or suggestions

For more information, or your reaction to the above, you can contact me via e-mail: andre.roosma@12accede.nl.

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© André H. Roosma , Accede!, Zoetermeer NL, 2004-09-25 (NL)/ 2015-02-21 (Eng.)/ 2015-06-14; all rights reserved.