Thoughts and Encouragements for Wounded
Helpers Joined to a Healing God
| Thoughts and Encouragements for Wounded
Helpers Joined to a Healing God |
Helping by Blessinga brief summary
of Téo van der Weele's approach to pastoral counseling
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2007-06-13The approach of Helping by Blessing, or
Powerful Peace as it is named as well, as developed by Téo J.
van der Weele, has inspired me very much.
Téo van der Weele was led to this approach when faced with the task
to help many thousands of traumatized people in refugee camps in Thailand.
His task there was to equip lay people to become counselors in order
to help these masses.
His experience in this cross-cultural work later helped him to see how
people who grew up in abusive circumstances also benefitted from an
approach that asked questions as if they came from a different culture.
One of the main points of this approach is that when people experience
the deep peace and safety of the presence of God - either God the Father,
Jesus Christ or the Holy Spirit -, they can more easily begin the
healing process from emotional trauma.
This peace, and even God's presence, can be invoked by a fellow
Christian in a sufficiently safe atmosphere - the two-fold concept
of the Maranatha-prayer.
Quoting Téo van der Weele himself:
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"God is all knowing, almighty, always present. "In Him we live and move" (Acts 17:28). God promised to be with us always (Mat.28:20). He was aware of the fact that we cannot always experience His presence, so He taught us: "When two or three people are gathered in My name, I will be in their midst" (Mat.18:20). This promise has meant a lot to the first Christians. A prayer came forth from it, a prayer I call the Maranatha-prayer. This one word has become a key that enabled me not just to stand next to people with a problem, but also to live, grow and change myself. "
And from a paper by my respected pastoral colleague Marijne Verbueken, at that time also one of Téo van der Weele's trainees, I adapted the following (with a few minor editorial changes and additions):
"The Biblical concept of 'blessing' originates from the Greek 'eulogeo' meaning: '(speaking) good words' (most often translated 'blessing' or 'praising') and the Hebrew 'barach' which means: 'to give healing power to someone', wishing him well. By acknowledging that God is good, we may wish God's goodness to other people. So, blessing is - ultimately - an act of God.
God desires to bless His creations, words and action are one for Him. This desire of God means that man may have a positive, expecting, receiving attitude towards God, because He shall give good things.
While much relief work is focused on problems, powerful peace wants to focus on giving attention to what is good, through the words and attitude of the workers, according to Téo.
In both the O.T. and N.T. the order to bless is given. It is not the specific official blessing that is meant, but a life-style of blessing for the community of believers (Rom.12:14 and 1 Petr.3:9). An attitude like this means that a worker not only shows human compassion for a counselee, and there is not only intercession to God, but the worker also stands besides God, blessing the counselee, and looking at him with God's grace and mercy.
Jesus sent out His disciples and the seventy, with the mission to spread the Kingdom of God, to go to people with His 'shalom' (Matt.10:12), which means to wish them the wholeness (shalom) of God, in every aspect of their lives - the relationships with God, oneself, one's neighbour and nature.
When God feels compassion, there is always action, says Téo. From the O.T. he points out how God comes into the situation of His people. The miracles, the plagues in Egypt, the cloud in which He leads His people. In the N.T. it is most completely shown in the Son of God who "became flesh". Through His Son, God comes into the mess, the dust of the world.
Powerful peace emphasises the coming of the Redeemer in difficult, painful or sinful situations the [counselee] is in. That is why powerful peace has a Christocentric character. First look at Jesus, and secondly at the situation.
. . .
[Counselees] are blessed with the peace of God (the Father, the Son or the Holy Spirit). Paul translates the word shalom with "grace and peace"; this is because the Hebrew word peace means more than the Greek word. Blessing is not a way of 'covering', but a way to create a safe situation for the counselee, in which he or she can face difficult and frightening events. Counsellors themselves do experience that God's word is action at the same time. Peace; Irene (Greek) in the Bible means that it is present; whereas when people speak about peace, it is mostly absent, for example in times of war. Grace; Charisma (Greek) means: that what comes from God. We may receive it. It also means: God's smile at people. Grace and peace. We may make them part of ourselves. God's grace is meant to save. Grace always comes first in the Bible.
God approaches us. This is a safe situation, God's safety. So, we may invite God into the situation of the [counselee], (Marana-tha) and His presence can be experienced. God, Jesus will come into the situation with His peace. It's not important where we are, because God comes to us. Maranatha is an Aramese word from the days of Jesus. Used in an original (1 Cor.16:22) and translated (Rev.22:20) version. This word can be written in two ways, each with a different meaning:
A. The Lord will come (Maran-atha)
B. Come, Lord (Marana-tha)
The Maranatha-prayer emphasises the need of God's presence in the situation. It causes pastoral counselling to be based on what God wants to do for the [counselee], more than what the counsellor can do. Many other methods of psychologic or psychiatric treatments focus on the problem. Powerful peace connects to what God already has done, or is doing in a person's life, and does not try to run its own schedule. Encouraging the [counselee] to face the (painful) reality of the past, present and/or future only occurs if God wants this to happen and the [counselee] is ready for it (1 Cor.10:13; Hebr.4:8). This means we do not automatically dig in a person's life; not everything has to be experienced again in order to be healed. Some events may have been too painful, or in God's eyes "irrelevant" - then His peace can cover it and heal. "
Some time, a friend asked me whether helping by
blessing was a kind of ministry of encouragement.
I had to answer: "Yes and no."
Yes, in that encouragement also is a matter of speaking
'good words' (remember the Greek: eulogeo).
The way Larry Crabb (in Connecting) or Anna Terruwe (in
Geef mij je hand) make this practical, comes - in this way
- close to the concept of helping by blessing.
So, in terms of life style and the way of communicating, empowering,
and encouraging, the two are very close.
(That's also why these references to Crabb's and Terruwe's works -
and some more like these two - are included here.)
No, in the sense that helping by blessing does one important
additional thing.
In both, the pastoral counselor can stand besides the counselee and offer
e.g. a listening ear and/or comfort as he or she has received it him-
or herself from God and others (in the present or in other times;
cf. also 2 Cor.1:3-7).
In helping by blessing, the pastoral counselor not only connects
empathically and encouragingly at the human level, he or she explicitly
invites God into the situation (cf. the Maranatha-prayer).
Next to that, he or she exercises God-given authority to speak that vital
connection with God into being in the life of the counselee
(and thereby also peace, forgiveness, wellness, life, etc.).
More Biblical background about this humble way of authoritative speaking
in the name of God can be found in the Bible
study about blessing.
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The approach is currently exercised and taught by the Dutch foundation Zegenend Helpen (Helping by Blessing; formerly: De Kracht van Vrede - The Power of Peace), with whom I am also affiliated. Visit the website of De Kracht van Vrede for more information, or read one of Van der Weele's books, such as From Shame to Peace - Counselling and caring for the sexually abused, (also available in German, Finnish and Dutch).
What this approach first of all taught me, is that it is not
my expertise that contributes to the healing but the presence of Jesus first.
By listening spiritually to what God is already doing in the life of
the counselee, I can become truly His co-operative shepherd-dog, as
Luther used to call himself so succinctly.
Besides that, I was and still continue to be greatly encouraged by
the many practical examples Van der Weele gives in his teachings.
I hold Van der Weele (as well as his co-workers) in high esteem
because of his very sensitive attitude and this often difficult work.
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The following is a selection of books related to helping by blessing. Boldface titles are specially recommended.
Larry Crabb & Dan Allender, Encouragement, the key to caring, Zondervan Grand Rapids MI USA, 1984.
Larry Crabb, Connecting - Healing for ourselves and our relationships; a radical vision, Word Publishing, Nashville Tennessee USA, 1997.
Catherine Marshall, The Helper, Chosen Books, USA, 1978.
Henri J.M. Nouwen, In the Name of Jesus - reflections on Christian leadership, Crossroad, New York USA, 198x.
Leanne Payne, Restoring the Christian soul - through healing prayer (Overcoming the three great barriers to personal and spiritual completion in Christ), Crossway Books, Wheaton Ill USA, 1991.
Mary Pytches, Set My People Free: inner healing in the local church, Hodder & Stoughton, London, 1987.
Stacy T. Rinehart, Upside down - the paradox of servant leadership, Navpress, Colorado Springs USA, 1998.
David A. Seamands, Freedom from the Performance Trap - Letting Go of the Need to Achive (earlier editions titled: Healing Grace), Victor Books, SP Publications, USA, 1988.
Charles Sibthorpe, A man under authority - qualities of Christian leadership, Kingsway, Eastbourne, Great Britain, 1984.
Gary Smalley & John Trent: The gift of the blessing (updated and expanded edition), Nelson Word Publ. Milton Keynes, England GB, 1993 (first ed. 1986).
Lewis B. Smedes, Shame and Grace - healing the shame we don't deserve, HarperSanFrancisco, Zondervan / HarperCollins, USA, 1993.
Anna A.A. Terruwe, Give Me Your Hand - About Affirmation, Key to Human Happiness, Croydon, Victoria, Spectrum Publications, 1973 (translation, by Martin Van Buuren, of: Geef mij je hand - over bevestiging, sleutel van menselijk geluk, in Dutch, De Tijdstroom, Lochem NL, 1972).
Teo J. van der Weele, Zegenend Helpen - Een studie over het zegenen van hulpvragers als onderdeel van pastorale zorg (Helping by Blessing - A study about blessing counselees as part of pastoral care; textbook used in the course by that name, as well as an additional coursebook; in Dutch), Eigen uitg. van de auteur, 1990 (2e druk: 1992).
Teo J. van der Weele, De kracht van vrede - hulpverlening aan slachtoffers van sexueel geweld, een evangelisch/charismatische benadering (The power of peace - helping victims of sexual violence; an evangelical/charismatic approach; in Dutch), Eigen uitg. van de auteur, 1990.
Teo J. van der Weele, Dus ... ik ben niet GEK. Hulpverlening aan incestslachtoffers, een pastorale/inter-culturele benadering (So... I am not crazy after all - helping victims of sexual violence; an evangelical/charismatic approach; in Dutch), Eigen uitg. van de auteur / Stg. Zon, Harderwijk, 1992.
Teo van der Weele, From Shame to Peace - Counselling and caring for
the sexually abused, Monarch, Crowborough GB, 1995 (in 2002
re-issued by Importantia, Dordrecht NL).
Translations available in Finnish, German and Dutch.
To get a good impression of what this book is all about, read The memory problem and Walking in the Shadows, the first two
chapters - both at the site of Importantia, the publisher.
The following is a selection of webpages on helping by blessing. Boldface titles are specially recommended.
The
website of De Kracht van Vrede features
an introduction on helping by blessing
and information
on the courses that are given in the Netherlands (only in Dutch).
(more links will be added in a later update of this web-document)
(see also the weblinks page)
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For more information, or your reaction to the above, you can contact me via e-mail: andre.roosma@12accede.nl.
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